Why Many Women Don’t Think They Are Leadership Material

There have been a lot of conversations about whether women have the desire and/or the confidence to lead, but I think that is the wrong question to ask. I teach an undergraduate course on women’s leadership, and at the beginning of every semester, I ask the students (the vast majority of whom are women) how many see themselves as leaders. Less than half the hands in a classroom of 20 go up. To be clear, I have the great privilege of teaching in the Honors College at the University of Texas at San Antonio, admission to which is limited to the top students, and these students are rocking it! They’ve started their own businesses, won national awards—you name it, they’ve done it. They are leaders, but they don’t see themselves as leaders.

When I ask them why not, most of them tell me that they are not the loudest voice in the room. I’ve learned that what they are really saying that they are not alpha male leaders—bold, brash, and more interested in hearing their own voices than hearing what others have to say (and it’s important to note that there are alpha male women leaders as well). These students describe themselves as being empathetic, observant, hard-working, reliable—qualities that are nearly the polar opposite of the commanding leadership style.

But here’s the thing. There are so many different ways to lead. There are visionaries like Brené Brown and Greta Thunberg who inspire others with innovative ideas. Ruth Bader Ginsburg had a larger than life personality before her death, but she was soft-spoken and humble. None of these women fit the mold of being the loudest voices in the room, either, but when it comes right down to it, most of us still cling to the testosterone-infused model of leadership.

The world needs all kinds of leaders. We need affiliative leaders who excel at building teams, coaching leaders who develop talent for the future, and even behind-the-scenes leaders who do not seek the spotlight but make everything run efficiently.

We need to stop asking if women want to lead (they do), and instead ask why they don’t see themselves as leaders. It is time for us to replace the alpha male model of leadership by celebrating more diverse leadership styles and personalities so that talented young women (and men) who do not fit the standard mold start seeing themselves as leaders.

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash